Sunday, July 18, 2010

Peter Fernandez

It's weird. This past week, actually a couple of days ago I had a dream or feeling that I was going to lose a friendship at San Diego's Comic Con. You know that feeling almost like spider-sense. I couldn't figure who or why so I started thinking about what I was planning to do out there and with whom. And what behaviors would create problems.

Some crazy thoughts came into my head. None of which really made me feel too worried, lately they almost seem normal, which is scary. For the last few months just about all my thoughts usually boarder on stress and nightmares. The only real happiness has been going to all these drawings sessions, there I could lose myself in a happy place.

Where am I going with this, well a week ago I meet a couple of people who reminded me what it is like to make new friends. I started believing. Believing in what, I don't know, but it made me feel good. And that feeling carried into this week even stronger. It also helped that I finally finished updating my website. But then those feelings came.

So I got the news this morning. A friend, Peter Fernandez died a couple of days ago. He was someone I met a few years ago at the New York Anime Festival. I was one of the people who presented him with a Life Time Achievement Award in Animation and over the years we'd see each other at conventions either in New York or LA. He even helped me out with some video I shot at a New York Anime event. A great guy. I was looking forward to seeing him next week.

He was the last person on my mind in terms of losing a friendship and this was a harsh way to lose someone at that. But he's gone and I will miss him.

Now the questions for me are, is it over and what do I do with all those "crazy" thoughts that have been floating around in my head? I don't hope or wish for any more deaths.

I really just want to have fun next week minus any drama.

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